What Happened Last Night
by Lady Elizabeth of New York
Summary: The Marauders wake up with hangovers, no memory of the previous night and so many questions. Why is Sirius a model? When did Remus become a foster mother to five puppies? Who is the naked girl in James' bed? And where on earth is Peter?


James groaned as he woke up. His head was pounding and he felt nauseous. As James looked around, his eyes widened. He was not in his bedroom. Instead, he was lying on his living room floor. The living room looked like a hurricane hit it. Chairs overturned, broken beer bottles on the floor, some kind of sticky substance on the walls and the portrait of James' Great-Great-Great-Great Grandfather was admiring a freshly painted handlebar mustache.

James hoped that his parents would not come home from their vacation early.

"Oh dear Merlin, my parents are going to kill me!" James exclaimed. "What in bloody hell happened here?"

"Don't you remember? You had a party to celebrate leaving Hogwarts and Sirius brought muggle alcohol," Charles Potter the first informed him, still admiring his mustache. "I must say I wish I had grown one of these when I was alive."

James struggled to remember last night but he found that he could recall anything beyond Sirius handing him a beer bottle. James groaned. Why did he always listen to Sirius? Maybe Remus was right, they would be the death of each other.

James got up and walked towards Sirius' bedroom, ready to strangle his best mate. He opened the door and his eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw the two occupants of Sirius' room.

Remus was lying on the floor, cuddling an English Shepherd puppy who was licking Remus' face. There were four more puppies surrounding Remus.

Sirius was lying on his bed, wearing nothing but a bright pink thong and there was a camera on his bed. There was also two muggle fireman and policeman hats beside him.

James was getting more and more worried about the events of last night. Thankfully, Remus and Sirius started waking up before James had to go near either of them.

"What happened last night? Why does my head hurt? More importantly, why am I surrounded by puppies?" Remus asked as he got up, rubbing his head. The puppies bounced after him, yipping loudly.

"Looks like Moony's a mummy," Sirius laughed as he got off his bed. It was then did he notice what he was wearing. "Why am I wearing my girlfriend's thong? And what is this camera doing here?"

"This is great," James muttered sarcastically. "We had an awesome party and got drunk last night. And none of us can remember what happened."

"Maybe Wormtail knows what happened. Where is he anyway?" Sirius wondered looking around for the fourth member of their group.

"I don't understand how I got drunk. I only drank the punch," Remus said. Then his face got dark as realization dawned on him. "Sirius, did you spike the punch?" Sirius avoided his eyes. Remus gave him an angry look. "I have a feeling that everyone at our party is waking up with a headache today."

"I'll look for Peter. He's probably in my room," James suggested, leaving Sirius to be scolded by Remus.

James walked over to his room and went in, only for him to go running back into Sirius' room. "Guys, there's a naked girl in my bed!"

Sirius and Remus stared at him with wide eyes. Sirius grinned. "Is it Lily? Go James, you finally won her over," Sirius said, patting James on the back.

"I don't know who the girl is. I ran out before I could get a good look at her," James hissed. "I can't remember anything because of you."

"Wow, that's ironic. You've been chasing after Lily for five years and you can't remember sleeping with the girl of your dreams," Sirius joked with a chuckle.

James was not amused that he couldn't remember what might have been the best night of his life. He put his hands around Sirius' neck. "I am going to kill you!" James exclaimed angrily.

Remus quickly intervened, standing in between Sirius and James. "Alright, calm down, James. I'm sure there's a logical explanation for everything," Remus told them calmly, trying to stop one of the puppies from chewing on his pants' leg. "First things first. We have to find Peter then we'll look through our guest list and see if anyone remembers anything about the party."

"Well we better get dressed first," Sirius told them, looking down at the undergarment. "Hopefully no one has seen me in this."

There was a tap on the window. It was an owl holding a magazine. James opened the window, paid the owl and took the magazine. His eyes widened when he saw the cover of the magazine.

"Uh, Pads, I think someone has seen you wearing the thong. In fact I think a lot of people have," James informed him gravely, handing the magazine to Sirius.

The cover had Sirius wearing nothing but the thong and the fireman's hat, flexing in front of a fire in a marble fireplace.

"I don't know whether to be horrified and embarrassed or happy that I'm on the cover of a magazine," Sirius said with a grin. "Narcissa will be so jealous. She wanted to be a model for a long time." James and Remus gave him an annoyed look. "Right. I'll gloat later."

"Uh, James, that doesn't look like your fireplace," Remus remarked.

"You're right, Moony. It looks like the fireplace in the Black mansion," James agreed.

Sirius groaned. "Please tell me, we're not going to over there, are we?"

"Don't you want to figure out what happened last night?" Remus asked knowingly. Sirius moaned as he nodded his head. "Then we have to go. Maybe we'll find Peter there."

"What do we do about the naked girl in my bed who may or may not be Lily?" James questioned curiously.

"Is she still asleep?" Sirius inquired.

"I think so. She didn't say or do anything when I walked in," James answered.

"I'd say we leave her here until we sort everything out," Sirius suggested.

"I don't know if we should just leave…" Remus began only for one of the puppies to start jumping up on him. "Would you please leave me alone? I am not your mother! Do I even look like your mother!"

"Well you are technically a canine," Sirius commented, causing Remus to glare at him. "Kidding. Don't worry, I'll call Marlene and she'll babysit James' lover." Sirius made kissy faces as he stressed the word lover.

"I will kill you," James growled. Sirius held up his hands in defense. "Floo Marlene and let's get going."

James and Sirius left the bedroom. Remus tried to follow them but the puppies kept bouncing around him. Remus sighed. "You're not going to leave me alone, are you?" Remus muttered. The puppies yipped in agreement. "James, do you have a baby carriage so I can bring the puppies with us?"


End file.
